My Journey Through Hip Labrum Recovery: Entry 5 - Two Weeks

Moving on.

I had my 2 week post-op visit with Dr. Adickes last Friday and my stitches were removed. The incisions are gnarly and the Band-Aid glue has been helpful in providing me with a nice rash. We discussed the rehab protocol, weaning from the crutches and the forward plan. We are moving on.

Physical therapy has been grueling and my body feels more tired than in the hours post-ironman. No matter your fitness level, everything is twice as hard when you have little muscle memory in your quads and adductor, and I find myself getting frustrated with how difficult the simplest exercises are to complete. The therapists know this and reward me with trips to the stationary bike as an end to the sessions. I can still spin 100+ rpm's consistently for extended time periods without my breath laboring. That's when I'm in my element and feel good about where I'm at, the proverbial trip down the finisher's chute. I find recovery from the therapy sessions takes much longer than I am used to and am having to re-learn patience and trusting my body's cues as to when it needs rest and attention. Both elements that I took for granted not more than a month ago.

I have completely removed myself from the pain medications and choose to only medicate with the daily arthritis preventative and the compound cream that I received as part of rehab. I find the combination of these two keep the headaches away and allow me to move about freely without too much pain. The CPM machine is gone. Sleeping is difficult. I wore the "shackle" brace the first two weeks and am finding that removing it is helping me sleep better. You never really appreciate how much you move in your sleep until you are restricted from doing so (get the theme here?). So instead, I have been building forts with pillows and sleep in a pillow-box to keep from rolling over. Reversion to adolescence?

I am back at work full-time and am in the process of moving my office furniture back to pre-surgery design. It is extremely comfortable to sit like this (although not very functional):

I have to get up and walk multiple times throughout the day to keep the blood flowing in my legs. Sitting and standing are the most painful activities because you cannot help placing your hips into angles that it does not want to be in. The comments about the creaking crutches have stopped, and now the joke is centered around how I "can sneak up on people again." The ladies in my office still insist on bringing me bottles of water and laffy taffy even though I've told them multiple times that I am not a quadriplegic. I'll take all the love I can get....

Therapy is now centered around regaining muscle strength in my legs, more specifically, the quad, groin, hamstring and glute. I am tasked with going to the gym everyday to ride the stationary bike, do box squats, leg extensions, calf raises, leg press (avoiding 90 degree angles) and all of the upper body lifting I can handle. I cannot use free-weights just yet, so everything is done with a machine. There is also a very strict regiment of planking and bridging that I am tasked with everyday. Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the pool. And the pavement. And the sweat. Maybe even the spandex, just a little? Here is my first visit to the stationary bike:

My mood swings like a pendulum as each perceived victory is followed by a succession of defeats. I keep telling myself that I am lucky and things could be much worse. I pray, knowing that there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Still I find myself on twitter reading about races and training, and hear my friends talking about progression and I feel lost. Something that was both inspiring and soothing was taken from me and my soul hurts. I say "sorry" more than I used to as I am often times offensive and bitter. It's difficult to mask the amount of physical pain, let alone the emotional pain that comes with not being able to fully function. I have a new found respect for those who are permanently crippled...they win a race everyday.

The pain in my hip is deep and it aches. But I am getting better. I can walk without crutches, albeit slowly. For all of the bad information on the web pertaining to this injury, the best thing I read about was the super-extensive recovery time. This is not a knee injury--they heal faster. Being a non-vascular joint means there is no blood flow to the injury or the repair, so it is taking my body much longer to absorb the work that was done. At this point in the recovery, my doctors are estimating a return to light jogging in mid-January and a return to pre-injury status in May-June. This gives me 2-3 months of preparation for the USAT nationals in August which I plan on attending. But for now, I will just take an hour without pain. Maybe even 30 minutes.

"Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know, the hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you in the end. We will only just remember how it feels."